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| Thi stl ebu rr' s Th e Co smi c Ou tho use |  | ||||
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| - Don't forget to flush and wash your hands... | ||||||
READ OTHERS WRITINGS OR
Christmas Germs
'Twas the night after Christmas and all through the kitchen
Little creatures were stirring up potions bewitching
Salmonellae were working in gravy and soup,
In the hopes they could turn it to poisonous goop!
Clostridia were nestled all snug in the ham,
While Hepatitis A viruses danced in the yam.
Little John with his Gobots and Mary in her cap,
Had just settled down for a long overdue nap.
When down in their guts there arose such a clatter
They sprang from their beds to see what was the matter.
They ran to the bathroom, threw open the door
Too late! Now their mother is cleaning the floor.
Wash your hands before cooking! Put your food away quick!
Or that jolly old food germ we know as Saint Sick
With his eight tiny microbes will ruin the feast
As they make their toxins. He calls out to each beast:
"Now Hepatitis! Now Staph and Perfringens;
We'll punish those humans for holiday binges!
On Botulinum! E. coli! Shigella!
Go get 'em Amoeba! Work fast, Salmonella!
If those humans can't learn to handle food right,
A Merry Christmas they'll have, then a long, sleepless night!"
Dog tags ring, are you listenin'?
In the lane, snow is glistenin'.
It's yellow, NOT white - I've been there tonight,
Marking up my winter wonderland.
Smell that tree? That's my fragrance.
It's a sign for wand'ring vagrants;
'Avoid where I pee, it's MY pro-per-ty!
Marked up as my winter wonderland.'
In the meadow dad will build a snowman, following the classical design.
Then I'll lift my leg and let it go Man,
So all the world will know it's mine-mine-mine!
Straight from me to the fencepost, flows my natural incense boast;
'Stay off of my TURF, this small piece of earth,
I marked it as my winter wonderland.
History is a dreadful subject
As dead as dead can be
Once it killed the Romans
And Now it's killed me.
Hickory Dickory dock
The mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one,
The others escaped with minor injuries
Kathy had a little car
And it was painted red
And everywhere that Kathy went
The Cops picked up the dead
Mary had a little lamb,
she tied him to the heater
And every time he turned around
he burnt his little seater.
I always eat peas with Honey
I've done it all my life
They do taste kind of funny
But it keeps them on my knife
Henry met a bear
The bear was bulgy
the Bulge was henry
I shot an arrow in the air
It fell to earth I know not where
I lose more arrows that way
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
all the king Horses and all the kings men
Had scrambled eggs fro breakfast again
A flea and a fly in a flue were caught
So what did they do?
Said the fly: Let us flee
Let us fly, Said the flea.
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
Fatty and skinny went to bed
Fatty rolled over now skinny is dead
Star light, star bright
First star i see tonight
I wish May I wish I might
OH NUTS! IT'S A SATELLITE!
There was an old man from the Reef
Who sat on his false teeth
He cried at the start
and said bless my heart
I've bitten myself underneath
There was a
young fellow named Hall
Who fell in the spring in the fall
Would have been a sad thing
If he had died in the spring
But he didn't he died in the fall
There was an old man from Peru
Who dreamed he had eaten his shoe
He woke in the night
a terrible fright
And Found it was perfectly true
There was once a sailor named link
Whose mates rushed him off to the clink
Said he: I've a skunk
as a pet in my bunk
That's no reason for raising such a stink
You will find by the banks of the Nile
The haunts of the great crocodile
He will welcome you in
With an innocent grin
Which gives way to a satisfied smile
There was a young lady from Burr
Whose kitten had Ultra thick fur
She just loved to stroke it
And pat it and poke it
For the pleasure of hearing git purr
A fellow who lived in Rhine
Saw some fish on which he wished to dine
But how to invite them
He said:" i will write them"
HE sat down and dropped them aline
Josephine, Josephine
The meanest girl I've ever seen.
Her hair is red and her eyes are green
And she takes baths in gasoline
Drake is going west, Lads,
SO Tom is going East
But Timmy Fred
Just lies in bed
The lazy Little beast
Eileen Carroll
Had a barrel
Filled with writhing eels
And just for fun
She swallowed one
Now she knows how it feels
The baby bat
Screamed out in fright
Turn on the dark
I'm afraid of the light
The Slithery-dee
He came out of the sea;
He ate all the others but he didn't eat me
The Slithery-dee
He came out of the sea;
He ate all the others but he didn't eat ...m...CRUNCH!
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| Thi stl ebu rr' s Th e Co smi c Ou tho use | | ||||
|
Jokes-1 | Jokes-2 | Jokes-3 | Jokes-4 | Jokes-5 | |
| Facts | Writings | Lymericks | Graffitti my Walls! | |||
| LINKS | YIM: THISTLEBUR | Never Ending Story | ||||
| Add To: | Jokes | Facts | Writings | Lymericks | ||
| Guestbook: VIEW / SIGN | FEEDBACK / E-MAIL | YIM: THISTLEBUR | ||||
| - Don't forget to flush and wash your hands... | ||||||