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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow
a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was
very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him. "
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each
child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked
what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl
replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy
Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to
treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family)
answered, "Thou shall not kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the
dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had
several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her
brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked,
"Why are some of
your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and
make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then
said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown
up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael,
He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out,
"And there's the
teacher, She's dead. "
Something to SMILE for you all!!!(during the week)
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying
to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my
head, the blood, as you know, would run into it,
and I would turn red
in the face.."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary
position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of
apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only
ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table
was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want.
God is watching the
apples.
"Grandpa, I'm really proud of you," said the modish young lady.
"What's to be proud of?" asked the old man.
The young lady replied, "I noticed that when you sneeze, you've
learned to put your hand in front of your mouth."
"Of course," explained Grandpa. "How else can I catch my teeth?"
I had a "drug" problem when I was a young person and teenager.
I was "drug" to church on Sunday morning.
I was "drug" to church on Sunday night.
I was "drug" to church on Wednesday night.
I was "drug" to Sunday School every week.
I was "drug" to Vacation Bible School.
I was "drug" to the family altar to read the bible and pray.
I was also "drug" to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents.
Those "drugs" are still in my veins; and they affect my
behavior in every thing I do, say, and think.
They are stronger than cocaine,
crack or heroin and if our children had this kind of "drug" problem,
the world would certainly be a better place.
Unknown
Bubba and Earl, two hillbillies from West Virginia,
were in a local bar enjoying a beer when they decided
to get in on the weekly charity raffle.
They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop.
The following week when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize.
Earl won 1st prize, year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra
long spaghetti.
Bubba won 6th prize, a toilet brush.
About a week or so had passed when the men met back in the
neighborhood bar for a couple of beers. Bubba asked Earl how he
liked his prize, to which Earl replied, "Great, I love spaghetti!"
Earl asked Bubba, "How about you? How's the toilet brush
working out?"
"Not so good," replied Bubba.
"I reckon I'm going back to paper."
| Thi stl ebu rr' s Th e Co smi c Ou tho use | | ||||
Jokes-1 | Jokes-2 | Jokes-3 | Jokes-4 | Jokes-5 | ||
Facts | Writings | Lymericks | Graffitti my Walls! | |||
LINKS | YIM: THISTLEBUR | Never Ending Story | ||||
Add To: | Jokes | Facts | Writings | Lymericks | ||
Guestbook: VIEW / SIGN | FEEDBACK / E-MAIL | YIM: THISTLEBUR | ||||
- Don't forget to flush and wash your hands... |